Every relationship goes through moments of tension. It’s normal for some couples to feel exhausted and overwhelmed by their partner, and often it is because the relationship is unequal by both parties. Here’s were the imbalance in the give and take comes into a relationship.

Have you ever thought?: “She/he doesn’t love me enough” “I am always the giver and he/she gives nothing” “Sometimes I feel like I’m the one who gives everything for the relationship.” Those thoughts are more normal than you think …

All emotional bond must be a healthy exchange between the parties, to make the relationship work naturally. If you are faithful you expect fidelity, if you are a worker you expect to share expenses with someone who works equally, also sharing household responsibilities and children. If this doesn’t happen you start to feel like you’re in an “uneven” relationship where one party is frustrated and full of rage.

For a relationship to be based on reciprocity take these indicators into account:

  • The material and emotional exchange is balanced and fair
  • There are basically mutual correspondence
  • The privileges are distributed equally
  • There is permanent and active listening between the two sides
  • Duties and rights are shared
  • There are no constant reminders of the responsibilities of the other

If you are feeling that your partner is not reciprocal Express to you how you feel, negotiate with your partner and reach agreements. But if that person is not willing to change or do not understand your point of view maybe you should analyze yourself to see if you’re overreacting or seeking external support (psychologists, couples therapy)

Remember that the base for love is love yourself first, the basis for respect is respect yourself first, and to make changes, you must change yourself first.